Almost all my life I have been a learner and networker. Being the firstborn in a Filipino-American family in the 1950’s, I learned early on that the responsibility of gaining acceptance and respect in our mostly Anglo community lay on my shoulders. Observing and learning the culture in my school and our neighborhood, and then passing on the information to my parents and younger siblings were tasks I took on as my role in the family.
My parents were rabid American patriots, and talk of American history, politics and pop culture were the norm between my mom and me, and even with my usually-quiet dad and me. Concurrently, my parents exposed us kids to the beauty of Filipino arts and culture in a myriad of ways. But the most influential person in my young life with regards to understanding my Filipino and Asian heritage was my maternal grandfather, a resident of Manila but a once-a-year visitor (with grandmother, too) to all their grandchildren in the U.S. I developed a fascination and desire to “be Filipino” which culminated in a summer visit to Manila when I was turning 14. The visit morphed into a 3-year stay (including high school) with my grandparents in Manila! Eventually, I went to college in the Philippines, married a Filipino, birthed three daughters, and pursued a music career there, totaling 14 years. Then my family and I lived and worked in the U.S. for 11 years (in three different time zones). We had grown to a family of six before returning to Asia to live and work for four years. In 1998, we returned to the Pacific time zone, moved in 1999 to Mountain time, and in 2003 back to Chicago! Then in 2011 – 2012, my husband and I had the privilege of living in Japan to serve survivors of the Great Earthquake and Tsunami.
So what does all this have to do with helping Asians/Asian Americans thrive in Chicago life?
I have come to realize that in my experiences of traveling and living abroad, and in returning to American life in 1974, 1983, 1998 and 2012, many have turned to me for practical help in TCK* and “2nd-gen” relational issues. As a TCK who has moved around a lot within the U.S., I have had a rich variety of situations and circumstances to learn from and raise my children in, as well as watch and coach my husband in his assimilation.
Getting well established and enjoying life in an American region that has the distinct four seasons, a unique and colorful culture, and a very diverse population can be tricky not just for recently-arrived Asians (from the home country or the west coast), but even for 2nd generation, young Asian Americans who are finally on their own. I have found that many may not be well-trained in everyday housework, adult decision-making, European-American etiquette and cross-cultural sensitivity. It is my desire to help my readers become very comfortable in the small and everyday workings of private life, as well as the significant items of public life. Chicago is such a great city full of fascinating and inspiring people, and a breeding ground for greatness in many aspects of American and international life. I hope you will use this blog as a resource for seizing and making the most of life here, to avoid learning the hard way or too late in the game!
*Third Culture Kid
i am certain that your blog will be a great resource for asian-americans, especially for those who are in intercultural/transcultural marriages. keep on blogging.
Good idea! I have so many friends, young people, who are 3rd culture kids. In fact, one is living with us now. We knew her from Abu Dhabi, where she grew up for 14 years before returning to India with her parents to establish a school in a rural village. What a culture shock for a 14 year old! After that she went on to serve with YWAM and got her first degree via correspondence. Next she moved to Singapore to get a Masters and was discovered by mutual friends, with whom she lived for a year. They too had been in Abu Dhabi and known her as a young girl; their girls had been her dear friends. Now, she lives with us and is working in a new job with her new degree. So many conversations revolve around being a 3rd culture, or global kid. There are others in the circle too, from so many backgrounds, who really have no home but are now international or global thinkers.
Karen Nohara
This is wonderful! I’m really glad for the family history in this opening post, cast within the frame of our family’s interculturality (yes, I just made up a word). I value your insights, Mama, and have learned much about being aware of my environment and sensitive to others different than us. This blog will be fun to read as many of our favorite discussion topics related to being cross- and inter-cultural as a family and as Filipinos will now be written and preserved. Go Mama!
Oh boy, high expectations! What did I get myself into???
I think I can relate to your inspirational way of conveying your message across.My two daughters were born in Manila,One was five years old and the other one year old when we settled here in Sydney,Sydney is the melting pot of many nations,a great degree of cultural sharing,views and traditions.they both graduated from Uni with most of their classmates as their peers in younger days.They both embraced the Filipino/ Aussie traditions and cultural values.actually from them I have learnt not to discriminate ,vilify and respect other people’s view.I know my children have learnt from me a bit but I know I have learnt a lot from my kids as TCK!!!!
PS My family and kids are enroute to USA from West Coast to East Coast including Chicago where I look forward on learning more of people and culture and their strengths.
Thanks and cheerio
caloy
Thanks, Caloy! When are you passing through Chicago? It would be fun to hook-up. I’d be curious to compare notes RE Aussie culture from a Filipino’s viewpoint!
It’s wonderful that you found a vehicle to write your thoughts, reflections, and experiences as a Third Culture Kid who lives across ethnic and cultural boundaries. As Asian-Americans, we’re model immigrants who are considered invisible by virtue of our adaptability, ease of assimilation, and facility with language. Unfortunately, it also results in a tension with the notion of rootedness in a mono-ethnic identity. Fil-Am communities in the San Diego, CA area had one of the highest teen suicide rates in the nation in the late 90s. Just how much the current Fil-Am generation goes through these racial identity issues is still being monitored. It is up to us to let them know that our multicultural identity is a cause for celebration than humiliation. Our ability to wade through high-context (non-verbally dependent communication) and low-context (verbally dependent communication) situations enable us to become effective bridges among cultures. One area that would need enabling is to encourage bi-ethnic and multi-ethnic individuals manage issues of racism, sexism, and ageism everywhere. For those of us who are in faith-based communities, we rely on our identity in Christ and on his call for all to be reconciled in him. But for those outside these communities by choice, what hope and encouragement might we offer them? May your blog be a source of hope, and word of truth, and pathway for others towards the light.
Thank you, Joel. One thing I have observed through the years, especially since we travel a lot around the country, is that Fil-American culture differs from state to state. Those of us who are 2nd generation from New York and other northeast states, born in the 50′s have a very different experience from those of southern California. Our Gen-X or Millenial children have different world views from each other. I have also observed that non-Filipino Asians (not born/raised in the U.S.) have assimilation issues similar to Filipinos in some areas, but many unique to themselves. We have been privileged to have many cross-cultural relationships, and develop an understand of the beauties and some of the drawbacks of cultural characteristics. Then, due to our moving and settling in some place new so often, coupled with a genuine fascination with and love for people, I believe I’ve developed a keenness and sensitivity that can help different kinds of people get settled, feel confident and enjoy their experience… if they want to. Of all the places we’ve settled, I “get” Chicagoland the most, I believe. So, my focus group for this blog consists of those who have come to live here from elsewhere, as well as those who have grown up in this area but are now on their own away from their family’s home. However, I will share a lot of basic tips and perspective that I hope will benefit even Asian-Americans who do not live in Chicagoland.
Diane, thank you for the invitation. I think this is a great idea! I wish I could write like you. Thank you for sharing your life experience. I look forward to the updates